Sela O. Sydney, Australia
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Wednesday, September 2, 2009
"Two" Much
I have 11 month old twin girls that will not get off the boob. I have tried everything possible, expensive bottles, starving them so that they would take the bottle, sippy cups..everything! They also wont leave my bed, their cots are in my room only because they still wake 2 to 3 times a night for the breast, but will not sleep in them. Does anyone have any advice or ideas on what i can do for either one of my issues? Thanks so much.
5 comments:
11 months isn't too old to be breast feeding, I plan on breast feeding this one until she's atleast 2, but to each their own. Every mother knows best for her child and herself, and it can be stressful.
Have you tried pumping and putting it in a bottle or sippy cup? Maybe just try a regular cup, small and plastic of course. Those little tupperware tumblers that come with white lids are good for that.
Also there are bottles called "breast-flo" that flow and feel like breast. I have a few to try out when the new baby gets here for later on when daddy will need to feed her every now and again.
I have twins and they were in my room until right before their first birthday, then we put them in their room in the same crib until they got too big. Have you tried putting them together, maybe they just need to know someone else is there, and when they get scared they go to your breast for comfort.
I wish I had a solution for you, especially since I have twins too, but I haven't the slightest, I never had that problem, quite the opposite really because my girls were so preemie, they had bottles that I pumped for 98% of the time.
We had a similar situation with our son when he turned 1.
This is what our pediatrician told us:
#1 Time for the babies to have their own room(s)A little distance can do some good for both of your (or the 3 of you in your case)
#2 They are not going to starve through the night. Cut out the middle of the night feedings one at a time and try to teach them to self soothe back to sleep at night.
At 12 months my son was still getting up every two hours to nurse during the night. Cutting him off in the PM took one REALLY bad week, but with sleep independence came a natural weening shortly thereafter (but that was because he was ready, every child is different). In the long run it was well worth it.
My son was about 12 months when we dropped the middle of the night feeding. It took a few hard nights but in the end I think it was harder for me than for him. He was in his own room and I would have my husband go in and calm him down (so he didn't think it was time to eat). He would fall back asleep for about 30 minutes and then wake up ready to eat. Each night we got him to push it later and later until it was about 6am - the time he woke up anyway.
When we started weaning at 12 months with my son, I cut one feeding and just kept him super busy during that time... snacks also helped. Then after a few weeks we dropped another one. Total it took 4 months and he decided he was done with the bedtime feeding on his own (though I don't think I was ready).
My dr is telling me now that my 4 1/2 month old is old enough to sleep through the night... not sure if totally think he's ready since he wakes up every 4ish hours and seems hungry.
I think every baby/child is so different that you have to take cues from your children. Sounds like you are ready to make some changes though. Children are so resilient... once you make the decision you want them to adapt to something, just stick to it and it shouldn't take too long. If you decide you want them in their own rooms and you are ready to start weaning them, just make that decision and commit to it.
Good luck!
For the sleep issue:
In my opinion you can't hold a baby, or cuddle with them, or love on them "too much". Before you know it they're 5 and pushing you away. That window is very small and closes fast, so enjoy the time you get to snuggle with them.
If you want them out of your bed and into their own, I have an idea that worked for my little girl. When she was about 15 months she went through a big Mommy phase, completely attached to me 24/7. She'd scream if I left her room at bedtime, or if she woke up in the middle of the night in her own room she would scream until I came and cling to me. If Daddy came in or tried to rock her she'd cry until he brought her to me, then immediately stop. It was kind of like a battle of wills. It just became easier to stick her straight in our bed in the middle of the night. We're actually still going through the Mommy phase now, (she'll be 3 in 2 months). I love it, but I had to set up some boundaries.
If you are keeping them in your room, but want them in their own bed this is what I suggest...
If their bed is big enough, put them in there together. Push their bed right next to yours(I don't know what you mean by "cot" is it a little bed? Or more like a crib with rails? Hopefully it's a crib with rails because that will make this process MUCH easier because then they can't climb out and back into your bed. If it's just a little bed, I suggest investing in a crib for this process) Lay on your bed, and hold their hands through the rails and speak softly or sing to them, or if they are content, just be silent, until they fall asleep. After a couple nights if they seem more secure, don't hold their hands, but lay there. When they seem to be used to that, push their bed away from yours. Do that a little each day until you have the bed where you want it in your room. Then you can start removing yourself from the room. Instead of laying on the bed, sit on the floor by your bed, then each night move closer to the door, then out the door into the hallway, then off to the side a little so all they can see is your arm, or leg (not your face) then gone.
If you want them in their own room there are 2 ways I suggest:
#1 Do the same above, except move the crib slowly out of your room.
#2 Put the crib in their room in the beginning, then do the same above to make them feel secure in there. (Start by sitting on the floor next to the crib holding their hands through the rails, then not holding their hands, then sitting farther away, then inch closer to the door...etc.)
The key is to make them feel safe and secure even if Mommy is not right there.
You are lucky to have twins through this because I really think they can help comfort each other when you're not around, whereas a single child would have to turn to a security device like a pacifier or blankie or lovey.
This worked for us, she sleeps a good 12 hours in her own bed, and doesn't cry any more when I lay her down, now to get her to let Daddy do it ;)
Best of luck to you!! If something works, please let us all know, I'm very interested to see how it goes.
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